17th of January,2010

I start to question wether I am right to be fractious about this condition we’re in or if it’s all just not worth it. If I could just see you now, everything would be perfect. We could work this out and put aside the awful unwanted distractions people throw at us. The silence I sit in is deafening, I can’t stand being here without you. I need you here; don’t let me go for something as stupid as this. As I sit on my little table and gaze out the window, I look at the dancing stars and wonder how they could be so peaceful. How they just sit there, all appealing for people to stare at them. When nothing makes sense to me and when my anger attains its peak, I go to stare, just so I can get away from it all, into my own little world where I dream that all is well and everything is perfect. Nothing can go wrong in my world and if I died right now, I know you’d never be the same.

I swear that you don’t have to go, and I’ll have you know I’m scared to death.

The Anthropology of Ariana.

I'm not who you think I am because to be honest, you don't know who I am. How should you? I laugh when i'm not meant to, I cry when things get happy. I never know what to wear. I want it to be hot when it's cold, and cold when it's hot. I like being alone, yet when I am, I wish I wasn't. I realised not everything is worth dying for. Nothings what it seems and who you thought were, aren't. All I need is you, that's all I really know.